Bruises and Convictions

I just got home from our volleyball game and am loving the big welts on my knees. War-wounds of a well fought out victory. Our team played well together, even though we were short a player...and came out undefeated. Winning feels great, but fighting hard for a win feels even better. My knees may need some icing, but even that makes me smile :).

The only part of tonight's win that felt like defeat and required me to have a little heart-to-heart with God on my drive home was my attitude. It wasn't a bad attitude, it wasn't even a competitive attitude. I thoroughly enjoy playing volleyball and as long as we give it our best and play hard, I don't even care if we lose. It was not how I acted or even how I spoke, it was what was in my heart. You see, my team has played together for a while now, and because of that, we've created a really great dynamic. You know how so-and-so likes the ball set, who is the strongest in this position, who plays back best and who plays front best. Well, this season a few of our "regulars" had other commitments, so some new people were added to our team. One in particular was a little bit of a "unique" individual and in many ways, I just didn't know how to interact with him...but honestly, I wasn't trying very hard either. Granted, I haven't been mean...I've smiled, I've said "good job!", I've kept my mouth shut when I've been frustrated, but I know the thoughts that have been going through my head...and in all honesty, it's the same difference as if I said them all out loud. I felt horrible. Then, this conversation happened...

New player: You guys going to the festival this weekend?
Me: Yeah, possibly...we may be several places in the city for different events
New player: But are you going to the pumpkinfest downtown??
Me: (thinking he was wanting to go with) Umm, yeah, we might be there for a little bit
New player: Well, if you go, come find me
Me: Find you?
New player: I'll give you free ice cream. I make homemade ice cream and I'll give you whatever flavor you want

Okay...seemingly small, but it was one of those moments that the Holy Spirit said, "He just needs a friend" and my heart sunk. I got in the car to drive home and asked the Lord for forgiveness. Who am I to judge someone? Who am I to say what "normal" is? I am called to love others...and not just the ones that are easy to love. So, this weekend I'm not going to "happen" to run into my teammate, I'm going to go find him and take a genuine interest in who he is.

...and not just because I'm getting free ice cream... :)