Just a jumble of thoughts

Do you ever have days where you just feel out of place? I'm not really sure how to explain it. It's just a feeling like you're a puzzle piece trying to fit into the wrong puzzle. I'm sure there are different circumstances that cause it - being a new mom and trying to find the rhythm of your new life, moving to a new city, starting a new job...pretty much any major type of transition. Then there are just days where no transition has taken place, but you just feel out of place. Sometimes I feel that way living in Tennessee. I don't even want to say it's a love/hate relationship, because I never hate it, and most of the time I love it, but somedays I find myself dreaming of a different life. I picture myself living in the country or up in the mountains surrounded by trees. Somewhere quiet and simple where you sit on your porch and just take in the nature that surrounds you. Then I stop and wonder if I'd still be designing? I don't know. I'd be creating something, that's for sure, but there are days where I feel like I had this huge reservoir of creativity and I used it too much too soon...and no matter how hard I try to suck up the last drop...the well is dry. And then there's the major factor of solitude vs. relationships. I like the simplicity of the countryside, but for as much as I enjoy the quiet and would prefer it quite often, I also want people to be walking in and out of my home....whether it's dinner with a friend or a big barbecue in the backyard. I'm in the midst of building new friendships in my life, and just as much as my creative well feels dry, sometimes my social well does too. I'm not a big fan of the beginning stages...I like the part where you have the inside jokes and memories together much better. I just have to remind myself that you don't get there in a day. Patience. That word is out to get me, I swear! :) And sometimes I wonder if I have the "grass is greener" complex always haunting me. Always wanting to know what's behind door number 2 rather than basking in the life that I'm currently leading. Sometimes I think and analyze it all entirely too much and want to shut off my brain. That is usually the best thought of them all :). Anyhow, those are my ramblings for today. Don't get me wrong, I'm not disatisfied with my life...I feel incredibly fortunate in so many ways...but I'm still a dreamer and can't help but wonder what's yet to come. With the history of God's faithfulness in my life as the track record...looks to me like there are many more great things in store!