"Why Not"

2008 is over (and I have never been more grateful for a year to be behind me) and I am ready to dive "all-in" to 2009. Without going into great detail, 2008 was by far the worst year of my life and one that I hope to never repeat in every way-shape-form. There's a huge stack of reasons for all of it, but one of the main reasons is that I didn't go after my life the way I should have. I didn't make the best choices (not that I always have!) and I didn't quite have a place to "belong" in regards to a church family, and therefore, more importantly, did not have a place to serve and give of myself and my time to others and build relationships. I'll be honest, I'm ready to go - I've been ready to go for an entire year...but I know that for whatever reason, God hasn't released me yet...and ironically, I'm thankful. I know that I don't want to leave when it's easy to walk away, but when it's hard and you know that amidst all the sad goodbyes you have no doubt that the next step is where God is leading you. So...in 2009 I am going after my life.

I am going to "put myself out there" in the sense of trying new things, meeting new people and potentially feeling incredibly awkward and failing miserably at all that I try. On the other hand, I might succeed. I might meet new people that become a significant and relevant part of my life, I might try new things that I find that I absolutely love and can't believe I waited this long to try. I am really seeking the Lord to find the church that he has for me and when I do, I'm diving in. I am going to find a small group, serve in ministries, mentor young adults, you name it. I am going to give of myself because I know that in doing that, my life is not less but significantly more. I am going to turn off the tv and read more books. I am going to laugh more this year than I cried last year. Way more.

"Why not" is the phrase I find coming out of my mouth quite often these days. "Wanna get certified in scuba diving?" - why not. "Wanna take a kayaking course?" - why not. "Wanna go to that women's Bible study on Saturday morning even though you don't know anyone?" - why not. Why not?? What am I waiting for? What am I afraid of? Am I waiting to live life or choosing to embrace it? I waited for life to come to me, and I'll tell you - it doesn't work that way. You have to go after it! God has rolled out the rug and opened the doors...now I just have to take the first step and start walking through them.

It's gonna be a good year. No, not just good. It's gonna be one of the best!