Closing a chapter...or maybe a book?

You're going to have to bear with me in this post as I think it may end up a bit more reflective and final than I had intended to write. I'm just walking away from an amazing weekend (although it's not over yet!) and I find myself in a sentimental, excited, anticipatory state. It would take more than one post to go into the details of where I find myself right now, so I'll try to explain as well as I can in a small amount of words (well, small in comparison :)).

Over the past several years life has taken many turns. Almost all of them have been exciting, some have been unexpected, and a few others disappointing...but I would say overall better than what I would have expected for my life at this point. I've gone through seasons of having more friends than I could handle to having just a few people to call on, and each season had its own challenges. I've purchased 2 homes - one an older home with "character" that required an intense amount of remodeling, another brand new and not requiring an ounce of fixing. I have place settings for 12, a washer & dryer that plays music and a place for every pair of my shoes in my closet...and I am ready to say goodbye to all of them and start over (okay, okay...not the shoes...just the closet ;)). The craziest part? I cannot wait. The idea invigorates me and wells up such excitement and anticipation that I can hardly stand it! Sure I'll take pieces here & there (I can't afford to replace everything!), but I will be drastically simplifying my life, going back to being a renter and although I intend to have a full-time job, I also look forward to being somewhat of a vagabond (not a "purposeless" wanderer so much, but living light and traveling often). Sometimes I really do wonder if I'll ever "grow up", but there's a part of me that hopes I never really do. I never really want to "settle down". I intend to make wise choices, yes, but more than that, I want to love the Lord, embrace life, live spontaneously, follow adventure and have laugh wrinkles so deep that when others look at me they can't help but smile. I hope I spend a lot of my life contributing to others' laugh wrinkles as well. :)

I put the house up for sale today, so all of this is feeling very official. I don't know what kind of time-frame to anticipate as the sale of the house will determine so much of that, but I have an incredible peace that this is what I'm supposed to do, where I'm supposed to go, and God will take care of all the details in his perfect timing. That timing is typically not what I would usually prefer, but always the better option :). I will say I am believing for a swiftness in this process and that it will be a definite testament.

So, I find it interesting that as seasons of relationships have come and gone - and this one being the most challenging by far, God has provided time with all of those people that I have loved the most and I think it's his way of letting me say goodbye. Granted, it's not a permanent goodbye and I know there are many friendships that will continue for years to come, but saying goodbye to what they have been the past 6 years. I'm having dinner parties, going camping/whitewater rafting, cooking with friends, having girls movie nights, and so on. Spending time with people probably lifts my spirits more than anything, so it makes the move all the more bittersweet to have these last-time opportunities, but so amazing to enjoy the company of those that, over the years, have meant the most in my life.

So, I know this seems really final, and it's not yet, not today at least. However, a chapter, a season, frankly - an entire BOOK of my life is coming to a close and I am excited beyond words for what is ahead! Here's to many more memories yet to come!