Several months ago my church did a series on Dreams called "When Pigs Fly". The very first sermon in the series was called "Becoming Aware". Pete talked about becoming aware of your dreams and gave different ways to help you figure them out. I thought about it a lot that week and didn't realize it, but I was really only willing to scratch the surface of my dreams...things like seeing the world, living a simple life, being involved in local and global missions opportunities, impacting people...none of them bad things, but none of them really digging down deep. I felt like the Lord said, "look further".
So I did. I went to that closet of my heart. You know the one? The closet that you've shoved a bunch of things that were hard to want because at one point they were dreams and hopes that didn't happen and rather than keep them out in plain sight and wait for them, it was easier to just shove them in a closet, lock it and ignore them? Yeah, THAT closet. And I swear, when I unlocked it and opened it, everything came tumbling out on top of me and sorting through everything began to feel really overwhelming.
Honestly, I don't even think that I realized I had a closet. I lived so many years just being "blissfully content" - not asking for anything, not dreaming of anything, not wanting anything beyond my current circumstances, that I just forgot that God still has bigger plans for my life beyond what today looks like. That God wants me to ask Him for things - BIG things, things that seem completely impossible, things that I so often doubt could happen but pray in faith that they will.
One of those dreams was to live in Colorado. If any of you have followed my blog for long you'll remember back in 2008 when I put the house on the market to move to Colorado. In fact, I posted a blog on July 13, 2009 (ironic that it was exactly 5 years TO THE DAY that I returned home from my trip this year) where I said "It's good to be home...or at least that's what I keep trying to tell myself! Tennessee is a beautiful place, but sometimes when I go to Colorado I secretly think God designed it with me in mind. Let's face it people, I'm his favorite!! :) Kidding...kidding... Seriously though, it only gets more beautiful to me every time I visit. I just want to take it all and put it in a little pocket-sized bottle so I can pull it out whenever I want and bask in its beauty." It's a long story, but essentially I know it wasn't God's timing for me to move then, but it's taken me 6 years to finally go back to that dream and ask again. And this time, God said yes.
He's provided an amazing opportunity for me to just pack up my car and head west without having to immediately deal with selling my house and figuring out what things to keep/put into storage. That in itself is beyond huge - not because I'm at all attached to the house or things, but because that's just a lot of decisions to make at once that can feel completely overwhelming - especially when I'm not sure what my living situation will be long-term. Right now I'm just waiting on his provision for housing and anticipating that he will open the door to just the right place and people!
What I am MOST excited about it is getting involved in a new church and meeting new people. I have no doubt that leaving the amazing friends and community that I have in Nashville will be the hardest part, but just knowing where I want to plug-in already is exciting! I literally intend to over-commit myself to being involved in the college ministry, serving at the rescue mission, getting involved in a small group, meeting new people doing various outdoor activities...just putting myself out there as much as possible and trusting that the Lord will connect me with all the right relationships. It's slightly terrifying - even for an extrovert, but WAY more exciting than it is scary.
I share all of this mainly to ask - what are your dreams? What are the desires that God has placed in your heart that you feel like you've stopped acknowledging or stopped asking for? I'm still sorting through my closet and I know there are dreams that I'm still forgetting about, but I'm cleaning things out. I'm not shoving anything in the closet anymore. I'm taking each dream and surrendering it to God. I'm going to follow His lead, wait for His timing, trust His purpose and expect miracles even when things appear impossible.
Because I serve a God who is greater than anything I could ever begin to hope for or imagine. So why not dream...and dream BIG :).
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