Auto Pilot

I just returned home from a long day of assisting and styling a photo shoot.  It's something I get to do every once in a while and always enjoy the change of atmosphere in the middle of my work week.  Right now (at 10:15pm) I should definitely NOT be blogging but rather catching up on the many projects due tomorrow and all of the emails that are awaiting my response (I don't see sleep in my immediate future), but exhaustion and lack of creative juices are tempting me toward procrastination instead :).

I'm going to be completely honest, most often when I sit down to blog and share what's on my heart, I usually think "oh that's dumb, no one wants to hear about that"...and quite frankly, I think I have a tendency to ramble. :)  I almost didn't write my last post for that very reason, but I'm so glad that I did because many of you emailed me or commented on the facebook link saying that it was something God used to encourage you in a moment you needed it. It made me think about all the little and big things God teaches each of us on a daily basis and how important it is to not just keep it to yourself - because even if it's something we're all well aware of, sometimes it's good to be reminded.

I feel like I have learned more about how much God loves and provides for me in the past year and a half more than all the years previous to that.  I know that in those years he was doing all that he continues to do now, but it's almost like I was stuck in auto-pilot and I just wasn't paying attention.  Then a major life change happened - followed by God's incredible provision and it was that defining moment that I find myself repeatedly returning to when I start to lose faith or begin to worry.

Sidenote: I seriously wish I could be having this conversation with all of you over coffee...because I start thinking about all that God has done and it seriously gets me SO excited that I feel like I don't even know where to begin or how to say it all without using my hands and leaning across the table as if I'm about to tell you the greatest secret that's going to change your life!

I think we miss out on a lot of God's goodness just because we aren't paying attention.  When we lack a tangible "need" for God, we don't really notice how he provides because if there's money in the bank to pay the bills, food in the fridge to feed your family and gas in the tank to drive the car...then it appears you've got things under control.  So as bizarre as it may sound, I have found so much greater joy in an unpredictable and "unstable" livelihood than I ever had making lots of money and getting paid a yearly salary.

Rather than finding security in a job, I finally fully understand that my security is in Christ.  Careers will come and go or change as is the ebb and flow of life, but when I shift my focus from expecting that job to be my provision to being dependent on God, that's where I've found my true security.  He is my constant.  He is my provision.  He never leaves me or forsakes me and He always, always has a plan.

It's time to turn off the auto-pilot and start paying attention.