When God doesn't show up the way you thought He would...

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I bought this book a couple of weeks ago, but it's been sitting on my sofa...unopened...waiting for me to peel back the cover.  I kept wanting to read it, but I didn't for one very important reason...

I didn't have a highlighter.

So, last night I couldn't take the suspense any longer.  I hopped in the car, drove to the neighborhood Walgreen's and purchased a pack of multi-color highlighters (Sharpie's nonetheless! :)).

Tonight I was supposed to be at Bible study, but my lunch wasn't as delightful to my stomach as it was on my plate...so I drove home, put on my pj's and crawled into bed...

But not before grabbing the book and highlighters off the couch.

I dove into chapter one: REALITY.  There's really no better way to summarize it than to just directly quote the opening...

     Do you remember the day you discovered your life wasn't going to turn out quite the way you thought?
     It happens to everyone sooner or later.
     All of us have had dreams, wishes, goals, and expectations that, for a variety of reasons, have not come to fruition.
     Plans fizzle.  Expectations come to nothing.  Trusted people let us down - or we have let ourselves down.  Dreams shatter or slip way.
     Has it happened to you?
     Plan A comes to an abrupt stop, and you're not sure if there even is a Plan B."

 and that is just first page.  It continues...

     We all have dreams, little or large.  We all have expectations, reasonable or unreasonable.  We all have this mental picture of the way our lives are going to be.

     Whatever you wanted for your life, if you're a Christian, you may well have assumed God wanted it for you as well.  You might not admit it, even to yourself, but you were pretty sure God was going to sweep down and provide for you as only God could do.

     Nobody ever grew up thinking, I'm going to get cancer at forty-one.  Nobody ever grew up thinking, I'm going to get fired at fifty-seven. Nobody ever planned to be divorced twice by forty-five or alone and depressed at age thirty-five.  Nobody thought their child would end up in prison at age twenty.

     But it happened, and you're frustrated. Or hurt. Or furious. Or all of the above.
     And let's be honest for a minute. Part of what brings up such strong emotions is the fact that it feels like all the other people around you are achieving their dreams.  Their lives seem so put together.

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow.

Chapter two is appropriately titled: DON'T RUN :)

I love this book.  I love this book not because I am moping about life (although I have my moments) or because I'm disappointed or dwelling on what hasn't happened (although...I have my moments :)), but because sometimes I need a good slap in the face to remind me that God is in my circumstances.  God is in the "I don't understand why this is where my life is at 30" or those ridiculous moments (that happen more often than I'd care to admit) when I look at someone else's life and think, "man...how did they get dealt such an amazing card?!  Why couldn't I be more like them?  Why is their life so perfect."  But to quote Pete Wilson once again...

     No matter what has happened or how you feel, please know that you're not alone.  Because here's what I'm learning: everyone needs healing.  Everyone.

It feels a little odd to say that knowing that simple fact is reassuring...almost like you're wishing problems on everyone...but you know what I mean.  We all have struggles.  We all have days where we question God, sometimes by simply just asking "Why?".

At least I do.

I'm sure there will be a lot more to come from this incredible book (I'm limiting myself to 2 chapters a night so I can really soak it all in :)), but know this: you're not alone.  I'm not sure it's all that comforting to know that my life isn't perfect and that I'm not always content in my circumstances, but sometimes I think we just need to hear that we're not the only one.  I may not be going through what you're going through - our dreams may be different dreams, but one thing remains the same yesterday, today and forever: our amazing Father.  He knows your heart, your dreams, your pain and your hurt.  He hasn't forgotten you.  He hasn't left you.  He hasn't pushed you aside.  He's still there...working in ways you can't even see or imagine.  So if Plan A is "my plan" and Plan B is God's...I think I'll go with Plan B :).

(All quotes taken from the book "Plan B" by Pete Wilson and are not necessarily in the order written and emphasized by me.)