"Ask and it will be given to you..." With wide eyed wonder I thought, "You've got to be kidding me! Jesus is like a genie with unlimited wishes!" That night while saying my prayers before bed, I silently prayed that the Singer Sewing Machine for kids from the JCPenney Christmas toy catalog would be waiting on the fireplace hearth the next morning when I woke up. And I fully believed I was going to be the proud owner of my own sewing machine the next morning. Not a doubt in my mind. If I was clear about anything at the age of 5, it was that this Jesus was legit. And he really loved kids.
The next morning I woke up with such anticipation!! I immediately ran up the stairs to see the beautiful new toy that awaited me... only to find an empty fireplace with no sewing machine in sight. I don't think I felt like I'd been deceived, I still believed Jesus was real, but it was the first moment in my life where doubt began to creep in.
As life continued on, I grew up in church, private schools, a Christian university and constantly heard scripture like Matthew 7:7, Mark 11:24, Luke 11:9, John 16:24...and the list goes on and on. In fact, there are at least 67 scriptures that talk about asking God and God giving you what you ask. But it's almost as if over the years that tiny crack that allowed doubt in as a 5-year old has become a gaping hole filled with doubt. I would hear the words, "Ask and you shall receive" followed by a whisper "but brace yourself for God to say 'No'. Don't get your hopes up." So somewhere along the line, I just stopped asking. My prayer became something along the lines of, "God, you know what is best, so your will be done. Whatever you want, I'm good with that."
This past year and a half has been in many ways a "re-awakening" in my life. The best way to describe it is like opening the door to the fridge, seeing that it's full of food and yet not knowing what's really in the back corners. So rather than letting the stuff you can't see continue to take up space, you finally give in and take every single item out and sort through the good and the bad. Throw away the expired stuff, throw away the junk food that should be expired ;), and then immediately head to the grocery store to replenish your fridge with fresh, healthy ingredients.
Some of the things that had been sitting in the back corner of my fridge for far too long were doubt, disappointment and complacency. And it was time to throw them out and replace them with hope, anticipation and expectation. And in doing that...it constantly brought me to a place of "impossible."
Before I lose you entirely, hear me out :).
I've started to realize that if I really have hope, then that is ultimately built by faith. What is faith? Believing in what you cannot see. And if you ask me, really truly believing in what you cannot see...well, most often that feels...impossible.
I was just talking with a friend recently about the way that people try to guard you from getting your hopes up with truly good intentions. They don't want to see you get hurt, they don't want you to experience disappointment, but I asked my friend, "do we really believe with each other that God can do the impossible in our lives, or are we always trying to make sure that we dream things that seem doable in our own strength?" I trust that even if God says no to my request, it's only because he has something better - so rather than talking me down from my dreams to protect me, why not dream with me? Not only that, let's go a step further! Why not be people that when you sit with a friend and they tell you that ridiculous, crazy, over-the-top, seemingly impossible dream, rather than talking them down to something more realistic, what if we challenged each other to dream even BIGGER?!
I just want to know this: Do we really believe in a God that when you ask (and ask specifically. And ask when it looks impossible. And then ask and ask again.) he will actually give you what you ask for? Do you challenge yourself - and those around you - to dream ginormous, God-sized dreams, no matter how crazy they might seem knowing that we serve a God that is infinitely greater than our minds can even comprehend...so chances are, your BIGGEST, most insane dream is actually smaller that what God has in store?
Call me crazy, but I'm going back to that 5-year old version of myself, and getting excited again. Because now I know, Jesus is actually even better than a Genie in a Bottle. He doesn't just grant wishes at my command, he knows my heart and when I ask, he gives me not only what I want, but what I need. And the irony of it is, what I need always ends up being what I want most.
So let's all find that childlike faith again - and believe for the impossible.
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