It was an extremely cold and windy night in Washington DC. We had just left the Nationals vs. Angels game and could hardly feel our fingers. We arrived at Union station, but before we switched trains to get back to our hotel, my friend needed to quickly use the restroom. I grabbed a table in a cafe and said I'd wait for her.
I'd barely set my things down and began to look at my phone when a stranger approached me, ever so kindly and said, "Excuse me, ma'am, do you have any change you could spare?" Without thought, hesitation or skipping a beat, I said, "No, sorry." He smiled and said, "thank you" and moved on.
Ugh. Pain in my chest. Why did I say that?!
The immediate thought that came to my mind was "Trish, you just said no to Jesus!" I definitely had change to spare. I had cash in my wallet and I knew it, but I didn't even think when I responded. It was a knee-jerk reaction and I was completely disappointed with myself for responding so quickly without even considering the request. I knew this wasn't a moment that I could just walk away from. I still had an opportunity to be obedient and do the right thing. I grabbed the cash I had in my wallet and as I was doing that, saw the stack of Random Act of Love cards in my purse, so I grabbed one of those as well.
I walked through the train station trying to find him, but in my moment of defeat, hadn't paid attention to which way that he went. Thankfully it was late enough at night that the station had very few people and I had mentally noted what he was wearing, so I walked through the station, visually sorting through people trying to find that royal blue jacket. In a final effort, I stepped outside, hoping that if he had left the building he hadn't wandered too far. As I opened the door, I heard him approach another individual, asking for spare change. He turned around and began to approach me and as I began to hand him the cash with the card tucked inside he started crying and said, "Oh God bless you! God bless you!" He immediately noticed the card and asked what it was for and I said, "it's an opportunity for you to pay it forward." He said, "I need to pay you back?" I said, "No, no, just a reminder to pass goodness on to someone else." He started crying again and said, "Oh I will! God bless you!" I said "God bless you too!" and left.
Honestly, I had a hard time keeping it together. I wish I could say it was because I was so moved by his response, but it was mostly because I was so disappointed in myself for my initial disobedience. I texted a good friend of mine, sharing what just happened and he offered an encouraging perspective that changed the outcome of that night for me. He said you have no idea what was happening on the other side of things and your delay could have been a part of God's plan. Maybe he walked away from me turning him down and asked the Lord for help? Maybe it made all the difference that I took the time to pursue him even after I said no? It's amazing to think of the ways God could have been working behind the scenes, knowing exactly how I would initially respond and still using it to bring him glory. The hard truth is, I was disobedient at first, but thanks to my friend's perspective, I'm reminded that God can still use us - even in our disobedience. That completely blows me away. It changed my heart from feeling defeated to being so humbled and honored that God would allow me to play a small part in this man's life.
I don't share any of this to proudly attest to what I did - please don't read it that way. I share this because I think we all need to be reminded that even in our failures, God can still use us. I am so encouraged by that because goodness knows I fail a lot. I also share this because I hope that this might remind you to listen. I hope I never again respond to someone as abruptly as I initially did to this sweet man - I hope this moment will leave a lasting mark. I hope next time my immediate response is a knee-jerk "yes", but so glad God will use me either way.
“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we (almost) miss.” -Eric Roth
----------------------------
If you want a heart of sympathy
Then pray to God to help you, please
See the world that Jesus sees
But be careful what you ask Him for
Cause if you’re gonna open up that door
There’s no going back to before
Cause once you see a mother who can’t feed
The baby that cries in her arms
Your heart will break and you’ll lay awake
No, sleep won’t come quick anymore
So do you want to know?
You pass him on the way to work
He holds a sign beside the curb
You look away and avoid the hurt
Cause why should you be held responsible
Besides, he’ll probably just spend it all
On cigarettes and alcohol
But once you see that the man on the street
Has a name and a family like you
Your heart will break and you’ll lay awake
Cause you’ll understand God loves him, too
So do you want to know?
Oh, no
If you want a heart of sympathy
Then pray to God to help you see
But once you see a world that’s in need
And a sorrow you just can’t ignore
Your heart’s gonna break and you’ll lay awake
Cause you’ll know you could do so much more
Do you want to know?
-Josh Wilson
"Do You Want to Know"
I'd barely set my things down and began to look at my phone when a stranger approached me, ever so kindly and said, "Excuse me, ma'am, do you have any change you could spare?" Without thought, hesitation or skipping a beat, I said, "No, sorry." He smiled and said, "thank you" and moved on.
Ugh. Pain in my chest. Why did I say that?!
The immediate thought that came to my mind was "Trish, you just said no to Jesus!" I definitely had change to spare. I had cash in my wallet and I knew it, but I didn't even think when I responded. It was a knee-jerk reaction and I was completely disappointed with myself for responding so quickly without even considering the request. I knew this wasn't a moment that I could just walk away from. I still had an opportunity to be obedient and do the right thing. I grabbed the cash I had in my wallet and as I was doing that, saw the stack of Random Act of Love cards in my purse, so I grabbed one of those as well.
I walked through the train station trying to find him, but in my moment of defeat, hadn't paid attention to which way that he went. Thankfully it was late enough at night that the station had very few people and I had mentally noted what he was wearing, so I walked through the station, visually sorting through people trying to find that royal blue jacket. In a final effort, I stepped outside, hoping that if he had left the building he hadn't wandered too far. As I opened the door, I heard him approach another individual, asking for spare change. He turned around and began to approach me and as I began to hand him the cash with the card tucked inside he started crying and said, "Oh God bless you! God bless you!" He immediately noticed the card and asked what it was for and I said, "it's an opportunity for you to pay it forward." He said, "I need to pay you back?" I said, "No, no, just a reminder to pass goodness on to someone else." He started crying again and said, "Oh I will! God bless you!" I said "God bless you too!" and left.
Honestly, I had a hard time keeping it together. I wish I could say it was because I was so moved by his response, but it was mostly because I was so disappointed in myself for my initial disobedience. I texted a good friend of mine, sharing what just happened and he offered an encouraging perspective that changed the outcome of that night for me. He said you have no idea what was happening on the other side of things and your delay could have been a part of God's plan. Maybe he walked away from me turning him down and asked the Lord for help? Maybe it made all the difference that I took the time to pursue him even after I said no? It's amazing to think of the ways God could have been working behind the scenes, knowing exactly how I would initially respond and still using it to bring him glory. The hard truth is, I was disobedient at first, but thanks to my friend's perspective, I'm reminded that God can still use us - even in our disobedience. That completely blows me away. It changed my heart from feeling defeated to being so humbled and honored that God would allow me to play a small part in this man's life.
I don't share any of this to proudly attest to what I did - please don't read it that way. I share this because I think we all need to be reminded that even in our failures, God can still use us. I am so encouraged by that because goodness knows I fail a lot. I also share this because I hope that this might remind you to listen. I hope I never again respond to someone as abruptly as I initially did to this sweet man - I hope this moment will leave a lasting mark. I hope next time my immediate response is a knee-jerk "yes", but so glad God will use me either way.
“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we (almost) miss.” -Eric Roth
----------------------------
If you want a heart of sympathy
Then pray to God to help you, please
See the world that Jesus sees
But be careful what you ask Him for
Cause if you’re gonna open up that door
There’s no going back to before
Cause once you see a mother who can’t feed
The baby that cries in her arms
Your heart will break and you’ll lay awake
No, sleep won’t come quick anymore
So do you want to know?
You pass him on the way to work
He holds a sign beside the curb
You look away and avoid the hurt
Cause why should you be held responsible
Besides, he’ll probably just spend it all
On cigarettes and alcohol
But once you see that the man on the street
Has a name and a family like you
Your heart will break and you’ll lay awake
Cause you’ll understand God loves him, too
So do you want to know?
Oh, no
If you want a heart of sympathy
Then pray to God to help you see
But once you see a world that’s in need
And a sorrow you just can’t ignore
Your heart’s gonna break and you’ll lay awake
Cause you’ll know you could do so much more
Do you want to know?
-Josh Wilson
"Do You Want to Know"
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment