Heart-to-Heart

I'm not normally very "vulnerable" when it comes to posting on my blog. I have a journal that I write in and I pretty well save that for my "deeper" thoughts, but today I feel like having a little heart-to-heart. I've often thought about writing a post about singleness, but it's always seemed like a faux pas to even talk about. It's as if mentioning it means you are discontent with your life, incredibly miserable, and just putting on a happy face. Well, first and foremost, let me clarify that this is certainly not the case. I think the ironic part of that misunderstanding is that although there are moments of "wishing things were different" - that goes with life in general whether you're young, old, married or single. There's always something on the horizon that you wish were in the present rather than somewhere down a road that is a distance unknown, one that you have to keep traveling even when there is no end in sight. I wanted to share some thoughts on all of this coming from a conversation I had recently with a good friend of mine.

We were outside enjoying a beautiful night, just chatting away when she asked, "Why do you think we're single?" I wasn't by any means, caught off guard by this question. It's one I think about on rare occasions, and am sometimes asked by other people. My answer was what it has always been, "It's just not God's timing yet." Oh, I know, the cliche answer that we're all aware is correct, but hate to hear, right? She kind of laughed and said, "I know, I get that, but in the meantime, why isn't there anyone chasing after me? It would just be nice to know that someone finds me attractive." I said, "I know what you're saying, but think about it this way. If you had someone pursuing you that you weren't attracted to, that would freak you out, right? If you had someone pursuing you that you maybe found attractive, but wasn't someone God intended for you, and you dove in, but in the end it didn't work out, you'd walk away with some serious heartache and baggage, right? So, if instead of those two options, no one pursues you until the one God has for you, wouldn't that be the best option?" She just looked at me, sighed, and said, "yeah, it just sucks right now." I know this isn't always the case, and there is risk involved that things won't work out in any relationship, but if you can keep the perspective that you are where you are because that's where God has chosen you to be, I think that's the best outlook you can have.

I think this is the same scenario for so many things in life. The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. Hindsight is 20/20. There's always something that we're hoping or waiting for that is not going according to our schedule. Buying a new house, a new car, transitioning, getting married, wanting a new job, starting a family...and the list can go on and on. In the end, it all comes down to God's timing. Something that I (one who loves color-coating my calendar) tend to have a hard time waiting on in general as I'd like to be able to plan my life around it. I have the choice to dwell on where I'm not or be grateful for where I am. Don't get me wrong, I have my days when I'm not content - and those are usually the days I just need a good kick in the ass to remind me that God's plans are greater than mine, and I don't want to mess them up with my impatience. I'm not going to sit around, twiddling my thumbs until someone comes after me. There's too much to do, too much to enjoy, and too many friendships to be made between now & then. I'd be missing out on God's plans for NOW if I just kept waiting on his plans for my future. Every day counts.